Saturday, December 30 / 7:10 PM
Goodbye Saddam, the world won't miss you. I hope there won't be a division between the Iraqis. Hey France, please do your sweet sweet job. Oh hail wonderful France. I truly yearn for World Peace.I dont have any new year resolutions.
Hello i'm back. I wonder if you'd miss me. Look at what we did on the cruise.
Saturday, December 23 / 2:46 PM
Merry Christmas one and all. I know i said i wouldn't blog so often, but i figured you'd miss me if i'm gone for too long. So here i am.
This is silly, i'm playing RuneScape. But it's fun, for awhile. Addictive, for an even shorter period. Still, it keeps my mind off things and makes time pass faster. So i guess no harm's done.
Hello to Huina who is still overseas!
Friday, December 22 / 10:18 PM
Good day everyone. My name's Gwen and i wont be blogging so often anymore.P.S Away till 27th. Sorry Huina.
Wednesday, December 20 / 11:38 PM
This is neutral.I finally know what i want to do when i grow up.
Can't believe i was trying to be something i'm not.
All those talks about business, accounting and law.
Man, what was i thinking.
All along, i was never that sort of person.
I am such an idiot, and because of the world around me.
Now my boyfriend wants to be a Chemistry researcher.
No wonder i always have the mentality that i'm either in Science or Math.
This is madness.
I don't like numbers, and i only like Biology out of all my sciences.
I met this American lady yesterday, had a little chatter. (No, i dont know her, i just decided to share my table with her) She saw my math book and my work. Then she asked what i would like to do in the future. So i told her all those rubbish about accounting and all. "Oh why, you dont look like such a person." Hey, she was right. By the way, i haven't mentioned, her name's Christine.
Christine said --
A.) I've a creative character (Yeah, nonsense sprouting)
B.) My handwriting's artsy (I thought i write pretty badly)
C.) I dont look like i can take a desk job (Damn right i can't)
And BANG! Media and advertising sounds much more fun to me. I know this is rather silly, the way i'm speaking now. But this blog is about me and for me, so i presume i have the F.O.S and to be smuggish. (Back to subject) So i guess thats where i am heading, see the creative side. My forte, my sister says. That doesn't mean i can draw though.
Thanks Christine, i never thought a stranger could make such a big impact on my life.
P.S If i'm really in the media business one day, you know who i'll thank!
Monday, December 18 / 11:30 PM
"Tell me why you're looking so confuse, when I'm the one who didn't know the truth. How could you ever be so cold?" jojo.
Things have been stupid lately, there's no point in trying to make sense out of it.
There's two paths for me to choose. No in actual fact alot more, but i shall just stick to this two.
A.) Smart, ambitious.
B.) Cool, artistic.
I could be so many, i could be neither. It's so tough making a choice. Dear You, i have 2 wishes, to have the passion and to be like you. Its difficult being what i always wanted to be, knowing that i may not have the determination anymore.
It feels comforting, to know that there are people out there who feel the same way too. I'm not being sadistic here and hoping people would be as unlucky as me. Nope not that. I'm just not as lonely as before.
I had a choice between a happy and a depressing novel for my Christmas present. I decided to leave the depressing one for a rainy day. Who knows when I need it. (Could be tomorrow, but i have pockets with flies in them)
All i want for Christmas is for you to be honest with me. I wished you could open up more, you're so secretive. Like i'm not close to you at all, although in your context i am, very much.
Goodnight Singapore, and the rest of the world.
Saturday, December 16 / 1:21 AM
It's like you don't want me anymore.
It's like paranoia.
It's like everynight.
It's like automatic clockwork.
Being silly, sad and stupid all over again.
I am so sorry.
for being paranoid.
You're going soon, did you ask when you'll be back?
Don't you want to know?
I'll miss you, will you?
I am so sorry.
for making assumptions.
Sometimes ;
I tried to make you believe that i'm fine on my own.
I tried so hard, to pretend i'm alright.
I tried to tell you, that go ahead, you can do your stuff.
And that it's okay, don't need to care about me.
But yet all the while deep inside --
A part of me just wished you wouldn't believe any word i'm saying.
I know it's silly, reckoned that i'm just excessively complicated.
I am so sorry.
for having such a complex nature.
Frequently used -- I am so sorry.
Sorry.
Thursday, December 14 / 10:49 PM
Every word i'm saying, its just assuming. Oh but i can assure you that i refuse to cry, no tears will fall from these eyes tonight.Okay anyone and everyone, unless you can take stupid and sad stuff, dont read any further. Because i'm going to ruin your night or whatever time of the day it'll be. And from this sentence onwards i think i'm going to talk rubbish, what absurdity. I can't help it.
I am so cranky right now that your sweet words dont count. I am the most stubborn bonehead on earth, and i'm being very mad right now. And once again, the magic phrase -- I can't help it.
When the going gets tough, the tough eats chocolates. Which i can't possibly do right now because my fridge is like a desert. Once again, asinine. I KNOW. Dont bother. When i'm free, i'm too free. When i've got something on, something just have to clash with it. It's really senseless that my planner doesn't work because i can't be bothered to take it out of my pencilcase.
There's this lady at Orchard road, she sells tissuepaper and weird stuff, like tea bags and sort. She stands during the day and all through the night. And she charges a freaking 2 dollars for a packet of tissue. Alriiight, well she's a good businesswoman then. Perhaps she can't help it, perhaps she really needs the dosh.
Wow, when i'm feeling screwed up i sure do talk alot of crap. Amazing! Grumpiness or whatever it should be can cause so much gibberish to pop out. Oooo, i can't help it.
30 minutes of interval.
Cheryl called, i mean technically Darren called and Cheryl talked. Anyway i'm the first to wish Cheryl happy birthday and i think i dont feel so cranky anymore. Perhaps all i need is just someone to be wild to make me feel better, or maybe someone to talk to. Wait not really, probably just company. Yeah, should be.
Okay. I really want to stay over, it seems so fun. And you've got no comments. Anything but facing this computer. So i've got to thank Marisse for yesterday. 1040pm onwards yesterday was the best time i've had for awhile. I loved the chocolate crepe, the popiah and the dessert. Thanks and i love the walk home. Lets do it again, soon!
P.S this have got to be the longest time i took to write a post.
Most used phrase-- Can't help it.
Wednesday, December 13 / 2:59 PM
To the guy who thinks he's in love:
how much are you willing to spend your time thinking about her.
how much does it take for her to hurt you deep inside.
how much will it take for you to give up.
how much does it take for her to make you fall from grace.
To the guy i love:
All the riches baby, won't bring what your love can bring, won't mean anything. Don't need no other baby, your lovin' is better than gold, and I know.
Tuesday, December 12 / 7:50 PM
hello desmond, or otherwise known as the high and mighty alien who rules over puny powerless earthlings like me.i have finally came to my senses and realised i have insulted/provoked you in a way which i don't even know of and that i might be facing your deadly wrath if i do not at once apologise to you.
but i know an apology is not enough for you that's why i shall apologise and admit that i am a puny earthling under your rule and am currently going through a horrible phase of depression which cannot be treated by pills for some weird reason.
but above all, i wanna let you know that i am gwen, as i am really gwen.the girl who's outgrown preteen and going on 16 next year. i am gwen.
-gwen the depressed emo who's one level above transvestites.
I guess i'm pretty easy to impersonate. And hacking into my account is rather easily actually. All in all, i still love brownies as much as i hate jellybeans. Hello, i am lonely. I feel alone. Like a solitary animal. Why yes if you ask me, today has been amazing. Well, technically it's yesterday. I've been blogging slightly behind time lately. Oh it doesn't matter.
Here the thing is, i am surrounded by people -- still lonely. I can't shake it off, like how it's always better for me to write sad stuff than happy stuff. Hey it's not like i don't feel happy, maybe it's just that i can't seem to find a way to express it? No no, i've never felt more lonely in my entire life. I need company, seriously i'm being sick in the brains. I need new brains.
Am i depressing?
It's bad isn't it? Really bad. Yeah i do love you, but somehow i still feel lonely. You could hold my hand, i'd still feel alone. I have no idea why, maybe i am really depressed. Anti-depressant pill, here i come. You know what, you may not be reading this. Actually no one will read this, you see. Lonely, maybe all in capital. Like LONELY. Mmmhmm, that's more like it.
I've got this whole place to myself, i can write whatever i want. I wouldn't mind since i told myself i'll never ever, ever write in a diary again. A lonely existence.
Anyway i wished you would make me feel un-lonely. My brain is short circuit-ing, kind of not functioning so i'm too lazy to think of an antonym for lonely. This is absurdity, i'm talking gibberish again.
Most used word for the day: LONELY, brilliant.
Monday, December 11 / 12:05 AM
Sometimes it's just so tough being your friend, when things are going downhill and hard to mend. I wish i could help you but it's not that easy, when all you're feeling is sad and queasy. We're totally different people now when we started off being the same, i wish i could make you happy but that sounds terribly lame. You and your friends are just too cool for me.
Saturday, December 9 / 7:13 PM
Home and unable to go to bed
a drug addict to be with a muscle ache
the cookies are gone and the computer's on
the ice cream's in the fridge and my sister's out on a date
dosh on the table and my mobile's attached to the charger
to think i'll be going out, but now it's too late.
Friday, December 8 / 7:30 PM
5 Reasons why i like Gwen is because she..has a kid
is really creative
is different from the rest
is versatile
has her own fashion label
oh and because my name is Gwen?
The day i had a bad nose
Thursday, December 7 / 1:24 AM
Gladys
WalterMy sister was playing Jay Chou. I heard "F*** F*** F***" on one of his song. But it turned out to be "Fa-fa-fa-ther". Its such an ass listening to him. Gladys, i think you'll read this. Just want to let you know that you're fine. (: Things happen for a reason (cliche, i know), you'll learn from everything. You're lucky. Look at the cup half full. You've got a good life, look at it. Some people dont even get to use the computer. Some people dont have an IPOD. Some people dont have friends. Some people dont have problems. See, you're wonderful. LOL. Goodnight sweet world.
Wednesday, December 6 / 4:56 PM
5 Ways to annoy the teacher in classEnligsh Teacher: Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn't possibly express what you had to say.
Humanities Teacher: If the essay is suppose to be more than 500 words, draw a picture relating to the topic. Afterall, a picture is worth a 1000 words.
Mathematics Teacher: On the day the homework is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, "I have my homework! I have my homework!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There goes my homework!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this.
Chinese Teacher: TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee ;) Mr Lee Hai Rong (especially) would freak trying to decipher it!
Any Teacher: Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.
As usual, stupid ideas usually come during stupid times. Like this one where i'm down with flu and i can't taste anything. Causing the lack of food entering my aesophagus, into my stomach and down the duodenum and ileum. Due to having this flu for a couple of days already and a lack of appetite because i can't smell, i've lost 1kg.
Monday, December 4 / 8:36 PM
Sweet lord my head hurts so bad. There's the silly dull thudding and the weights on top of my head. My head could drop anytime, i think i'm going to crawl under the duvets and camp there for the night. It's still 3 hours before my bedtime but i'm going to bonk out anytime soon. Goodnight preeeeteezzzz.Saturday, December 2 / 9:05 PM
We started off so simple in a world of our own
Baby, even the sun's smiling for us
I want you to know that when it's late at night, I think of all your promises
That you'd said you'll never leave me, that I'll always be this special
Once I thought you didn't love me
You said i was paranoid, you gave me a reassuring hug
It was then that i marvel, at how different from the rest you could be
There came a point, I wanted more from you
Something you couldn't give me, something i couldn't accept
You made me mad, you got on my nerves
I took back my words, ohh i could live without your love
But after all that have happened between us
It's like I've fallen in love with you all over again
And someday at the end of it all, man i know for sure
You're the one i'll end up with.
This is what you get when Gwen is home alone since 3pm.
I wanted to write about how extremly tough it is for me to fall asleep at night, but i changed my mind. This place is almost my own private diary because no one visits. Which will be a good thing if it really is. There's a sudden outburst of squawks coming from the living room, tango and kash are so thickskin. If only i could invent this dummy to start poking them with a stick the moment they start squawking. And then 10 minutes later, i'll get arrested for animal abuse. The end. AWESOMEEEE. I got to run, i'm already late.
Friday, December 1 / 5:35 PM
Mom: "Look, i pity him."Gwen: "Where, who?"
Mom: "That mad guy over there (points), he keeps hitting himself. Haiyo."
Gwen: "Oh, Okay."
Mom: "So poor thing right? Aey, right?"
Gwen: (Rolls eyes)
They are just words, saying wont make much of a difference does it.
Self note - Alright now, its Friday. Tomorrow's Saturday. I've got one month left till school starts. I need to start enjoying myself, seriously.