Gwen's Autobiography (Extremly mundane)

Thursday, June 7 / 1:04 AM

This is like my second, first is kinda below

This is almost crazy, i could be talking to anyone but i chose to blog. Things are really getting out of hand. Its unbelievable how fast things can change in a minute.

I'll post this, and maybe i'll delete it later on.

I am being very unreasonable.

No one really knows who i truly am, and i'm willing to keep it that way. I really wish i'm just pmsing, that would give me a reason to be this way. (Still unreasonable).

How alone can you get in this world. How is it that you want to be alone. But at the same time still want company? Or how is it that you push someone away, but yet want that person to be by your side. I know its really horrible how i'm phrasing everything, but i really do not have a strong command of English. Everything is just raw. Why do i still lie when i know how it feels to get hurt because i didn't know the truth. Why is it that i feel like crying even though there is nothing to cry about. I'm being this really stupid unreasonable brat because other people out there deserve to cry more than me. This is not a noble act or anything (blogging and all), i just couldn't tell this to anyone. And i said i'll promise not to write a diary (some bad experiences). I wish i could break that promise, but then again, i still may not have a diary. This is just some internal conflict within myself and which i have to put it down somewhere. Yes, in case they run away.

Why is it that after me throwing so much nonsense at you, you can still say 'goodnight and i love you'. Are you on a quest to make me feel worse? Because if you are, you're succeeding. Am i just being that old paranoid freak i once was? Or still am?

To my ex-bff (really childish i know, but true), i hope things will be fine. I'm pretty sure i won't be able to help much, i doubt you would let me either. So all i can do is hope.

Thursday, June 7 / 1:04 AM

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